thinking is not my forte'

"You're in love with every women you meet, Mr. Spirit. You say lovely things to all of us and you mean every word you say."

i really can allow [force] myself to like any girl as long as there's not something majorly wrong with her [and even if there is]

i have low standards. girls with ass. girls with boobs. girls with talent. girls with brains [and plenty more without]

i'm non-discriminatory so i give every girl that walks into my life a fair chance to be something to me. most often it's a fair chance to be in the "friend zone" which we all know no one ever comes out of... but sometimes it's a more than fair chance to be something more. something special. some kind of flirting. some kind of flattery. some kind of something, even if that special feeling is only meant to last for the duration of our conversations...

BUT what gets me the most is how quickly i can move on. not necessarily move on to the next [although it has sometimes been the case] but to just get over the person i was once so smitten by. someone can be my daily thought, my evening phonecall, and my nightly dreams and then with one wrong move [on their part of course] they can be completely pushed out of my life and to their dismay, wondering "what ever happened to us?"

sometimes it makes me feel like a bad person or makes me look back and think that i just wasn't really that into the person in the first place... i tell myself that they served their purpose and i served mine. temporary happiness, that's what we were both there for. we both knew nothing would come of it. my warnings from the start justify me walking [running] away from the situations i get myself into.

ugh, i still feel guilty. shouldn't i? i mean, i wanna be part of someone's life not all of it. when someone get's too clingy or starts to drop the L-bomb [and i feel like they really mean it] i can't help but get scared off... then next thing i know i'm moved on to my next [victim as darryl ann likes to call it... unintentional of course] and they're just missing me.

when they finally DO meet a nice girl that'll make them happy, they end up falling inlove and staying committed for a really long time. i'm like good luck freaking chuck. "You will never be happy! Around you love will fall like rain. You won't hold it. Your heart will pain! Once the girl has been with you, to the next she will be true!"

asdfghjkl wtf is wrong with me today? enough of this mopy bullshit. i'm gonna go workout and work. thinking doesn't seem to be my most productive forte so i'll just leave you with this picture that's over a year old...

that's me in between kim butler and kim lascano. 2 out of the 3 hottest people with the same name. ugh, what is my weakness for their pretty faces...